Ugh guys!!!!

Im in a kinda relationship; I know it sounds weird. Its just he acts so demanding and im scard to say I will be your girlfriend even though it seems like were already go together. Well now he has this uncle in the hospital who he says is on his death bed, and I asked him could I come with him so I could be there him since he's always saying Im never there for me. Which I feel im always there for him but he keeps saying no you dont have to come because i dont want to you to see me crying. Well he took his friend whos a guy out there with him last time so i said you rather let a guy see you cry than a girl. He said yea which is so stupid, what guy wants another guy to see him cry?